OUR FILM TREATMENT - SA,MR and EP
Ella Ponting (EP) - First Draft
‘Haunted’ – our film treatment
As part of our planning process for our short film we were given the task to construct a 'film treatment' to gather together ideas for our plot-line and characters as well as how we can incorporate an array of different camera shots, angles and techniques in a way that will best suit our genre. After taking some of our key ideas from the planning process, I constructed a film treatment as an indicator of the story outline we may decide to use and to have a rough guideline on how we would shoot and construct the film. My next task will be to discuss with my group which elements of the treatment they feel as though would work and which elements they feel would need adjusting or eliminating. Once this has been done, we can develop a new draft for our film treatment and will have a clearer idea of a plot-line and narrative.
A visibly traumatised young girl sits opposite a studious looking woman, the older woman briefly peers at the girl, trying, and failing to mask her concern. A shot-reverse shot technique is used to illustrate the conversation between these two characters and their reactions to one another. The woman starts the dialogue by questioning why she is there and the girl proceeds to recount the events that led to her to seeking support. The screen dims to an image of a dimly lit room, establishing a new location. The room is large and spacious; a bed is propped up against one side of the room and is draped with garish looking fairy lights. The camera pans round to reveal the girl sitting on her bed which is when the voice-over enters. The girl recounts how the night started, first by explaining her inability to sleep. The camera fast forwards the girl flicking through the pages of her book and finally giving up and placing her book next to her digital clock reading ’11:01’. The girl lets out a sigh and moves towards her wardrobe where she pulls out an over-sized sweater and pulls it over her head, the camera follows this motion through using a tilt technique to mimic the motion of the character. We then get a panoramic view of the sky changing colour showing the progression of time before the camera cuts to a fast-forward of the character keeping herself busy through making herself some cereal, watching television and getting a glass of water. We see a close-up of the water slowly trickle out of the tap adding to the sense of foreboding. We see the character become visibly more distressed and disorientated as she struggles to tire herself into a state of sleepiness. A shot of the protagonist from the perspective of someone looking through the window at her is used to create the illusion of her being watched. We learn the character’s paranoia through the shot of the character double checking the lock on the door. The voice-over tells us that she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching her and it unnerved her. The protagonist makes her way upstairs with her cup of water and dims the bedroom light. The door is left slightly open so that a trickle of light filters through the door. Dark, ominous music slowly enters the scene as the voice-over continues to explain the state of unrest and uncertainty that the protagonist is experiencing. Another close-up of the digital clock appears on screen reading ‘1:30’. The camera jump cuts between the character tossing and turning in her sleep until finally a birds-eye-view angle of the character shows the character to be lying on her back, her eyes slowly drooping before sealing shut. The voice-over stops suddenly, and the audience are exposed to a few moments of complete stillness, before the protagonists eyes suddenly open. The voice-over explains that she couldn’t move and could barely breathe, she explains how she’d never experienced such an intense amount of fear and it completely overwhelmed her. This dialogue is reinforced by the protagonists’ eyes darting side to side in fear. A dark hooded figure hovers over the paralysed protagonist and strokes her face. The figures’ eyes are bloodshot red and a bluish, purple bruise is prominent just above their left eyebrow. The voice-over explains the hallucinations and how she believed that she was being watched. Visually, we may use a CCTV effect to capture the essence of how under scrutiny the protagonist would feel. A small, bloodied child begins to tug at the protagonist’s limp arm. The music increases in volume and the small child and hooded figure yet more persistent until suddenly they disappear. A close-up of the protagonist’s eyes opening and closing slowly reveal the demons to no longer be in the room. After this anticlimactic scene, the camera cuts back to the protagonist and her counselor speaking. The last words uttered in the dialogue are ‘Help me. I need you to help me’. This is reinforced by a close-up of the protagonist’s face which appears frightened and alarmed.
Sara Avramovska (SA) - Second and Final Film Treatment Draft
FIm Treatment definition - By Sara Avramovska (SA)
''A film treatment (or simply treatment) is a piece of prose, typically the step between scene cards (index cards) and the first draft of a screenplay for a motion picture, television program, or radio play. It is generally longer and more detailed than an outline (or one-page synopsis), and it may include details of directorial style that an outline omits. Treatments read like a short story, but are told in the present tense and describe events as they happen.[1]'' (WIKIPEDIA)
Film Treatment Update - By Sara Avramovska (SA)
For this task I will be reflecting upon the adjustments and eliminations required for tthe treatment that my group member Ella Ponting (EP) has previously completed as our groups first draft. Ella Ponting (EP), on behalf of our discussed group initial ideas, has simply gathered together ''ideas for our plotline and characters as well as how we can incorporate and array different camera shots, angles and techniques in a way that will best suit our genre.''
- Guidelines, If you are taking on a project of creating a film, or even a short film in our case, which is honestly equally as important I believe, not having strict guidelines can be awfully disconcerting and also discouraging. While working within a group , one of the benefits is the consistent differentiation of ideas and recommendations spluttering about in desire to be included within the film therefore the film treatment is an exceptional way of gathering them into one place as well as in the specific order therefore the story line is not neglected but enhanced and improved.
- Film Treatments are exceptionally profitable for the construction of our script also. Once the story line a.k,a the film treatment is completed it is moderately straightforward to construct the script as you have a basic outline or the order of events taking place within to film to follow. If the treatment lets say was neglected by any chance, our group would have potentially if not definitely be guilty of frequently jumping into completing new drafts while leaving gaps within the script therefore rewriting would have been required.
- It is an easy way of constructing the structure of the film and character development choices,
- Film Treatments are also an exceptional way of clearly concluding weather your initial ideas are worthy of pursuing if not they can always be rearranged or adjusted which is completely fine as I believe that through this we can display our progression and development to the examiner.
FILM GROUP TREATMENT UPDATE - SA, EP and MR
'INCUBUS' - Our Film Treatment
A visibly traumatised young girl sits opposite a studious looking woman, the older woman briefly peers at the girl, trying, and failing to mask her concern. A shot-reverse shot technique is used to illustrate the conversation between these two characters and their reactions to one another. The woman starts the dialogue by questioning why she is there and the girl proceeds to recount the events that led to her to seeking support. The screen fades to an image of a dimly lit room, establishing a new location. The room is large and spacious; a bed is propped up against one side of the room and is draped with garish looking fairy lights. A mid shot of the room reveal our protagonist sitting on her bed which is when the voice-over enters. The girl recounts how the night started, first by explaining her inability to sleep. The camera switches to several angles of the girl flicking through the pages of her book and finally giving up and placing her book on her bed.
The girl lets out a sigh and moves towards her chair where she picks up an over-sized sweater and pulls it over her head, the camera follows this motion through using a pan technique to mimic the motion of the character. Our protagonist makes her way downstairs using a hand help camera tehnique as she collapses on to the sofa. She stretches and reaches the remote lethargically and turns on the television. Disinterested, she channel flicks, hovering over the programmes for no longer than a few seconds. A series of jump cuts are used to mirror her disorientation. Paranoid, Hayle makes her way towards the backdoor, suspicious that someone is watching her. After scanning her surroundings outside, she makes her way upstairs and into the bathroom. As she prepares to go to sleep, she rinses her hands and face and makes her way into bed. For a few moments, everything is quiet and still. The first figure enters, followed by the second and third demon-like creatures. They wonder around the room, as if in a trance, and one demon strokes Hayle's hand leaving a trace of blood. Startled, Hayle bolts upright, still in a state of shock after her episode of sleep paralysis. She tries to convince herself it was a dream, yet the blood on her hands say otherwise.
The scene reverts back to the Counsellor's Office. The Counsellor explains her condition, Hayle questions her :
"And the blood on my hands? How do you explain that?"
to which the Counsellor responds fretfully " I'm afraid I do not know."
OUR FILM SCRIPT
Script Development - SARA AVRAMOVSKA (SA)
Before beginning the construction of our script, as a group we have discussed the events and the order of events we would our film to adapt. Below is a rough order in which we want our film to follow:
- Our protagonist,Hayle, nervously walks in her counselor office.
- Dietetic Dialogue Sound between the counselor and our protagonist begins. Our protagonist appears disrespectful at first as she is forced to seek help by her parents and her hallucinations seem ridiculous to herself, however after she is reassured and comforted by her counselor, Mrs Audrey, she apologies on behalf of her disrespectful behavior and begins addressing her psychological complications in regards to her sleep paralysis disorder.
- Her psychological disorder and experience of sleep paralysis is displayed through a flash back demon sequences (3 demons) accompanied by our protagonists voice over sound (non-dietetic sound) to match her actions occurring on screen.
- Return to present (in counselor's office).
Moreover, in order to present our learning progress and development of our Psychological Thriller film script,I thought It would be terrific if we can all display this though screen shots from the first draft leading up to the final outcome; somewhat containing similar qualities to a diary. After discussing my initial idea with my group they have also agreed.
First Draft: ELLA PONTING (EP)
Over the half term holidays I constructed the start of the first draft for the script based on our film treatment. I started off the script with the counsellor's office setting and proceeded to start writing the flashback sequence of the film
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I also found a software program which can be viewed here: https://www.celtx.com/index.html. which provides a simple layout for our script so as to ensure it is looking professional and similar to a script from a real film.
SECOND DRAFT - ELLA PONTING (EP)
For the second draft I typed out the script I was working on through half-term, making some changes based on the differences in layout and the feedback my group gave me. This is the finished result:
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THIRD DRAFT - BY SARA AVRAMOVSKA (SA)
I personally trust that Ella Ponting (EP) has done a brilliant job of doing the script based on the ideas we have discussed as a group however since it is one of the ultimate crucial sector of short Psychological Thriller ,all group members equally acknowledge and agree that we must all contribute within it. Therefore I had the chance to complete the third draft, I have slightly adjusted the script and added some dialogue that I believed was necessary, however once I completed the script according to the ideas we had discussed in our previous media lesson of the improvements that need to take place , I found that some of the plot change I have included may indeed come across as somewhat baffling to our audience. Due to this I believed it was necessary to discuss the matter with my group members the following day. They have also agreed. Even though insomnia (sleep deprivation or perhaps irregular sleeping patterns) is one of the factors that may lead to a sleep paralysis disorder as I have previously mentioned within my sleep paralysis research, it was difficult to merge into our story line, While our short film certainly focuses on our character, Hayle, suffering from sleep paralysis it was rather difficult to include her previous insomnia disorder that lead her to well , sleep paralysis.Because of this we all believed that it was necessary to adjust the idea of Hayle consuming insomnia pill. As a group we have discussed what the insomnia pills must be changed to such as anti depressants such as SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) which are usually prescribed to patience for fighting depression symptoms by blocking or decreasing serotonin blockers found in our brains,
Unintentionally, I was aware that some of my grammar, punctuation and spelling was incorrect and this was unfortunately due to the poor condition my laptop was in at the time. I made sure that my group members were aware of this and I had kindly asked them if on the following draft they could attempt to correct my unintentional mistakes.
FORTH DRAFT - ELLA PONTING (EP)
FIFTH DRAFT - ELLA PONTING (EP)
Due to the fourth draft being incomplete, I continued to work on the script, focusing primarily on the actions and description of what was happening in the scene. We decided to slowly reduce the amount of dialogue and voice-over included as the protagonist's episode of sleep paralysis
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SIXTH AND DRAFT - all group members contribution
For our final script draft, I believed it is best if all group members contribute therefore all of our opinions can be taken in account. I have consulted both Monisha Roy (MR) and Ella Ponting (EP) of which both agreed that all group members need to contribute on improving and completing the sixth and final draft of our script construction. We had taken one hour of our Media lesson, in order to read though the last script draft and successfully discuss the issues and improvements that must take place such as matching the actions that occur on screen and our protagonists voice over. We have all concluded that our last draft that our group member Ella Ponting has completed was too long for our short 5 minute film, therefore we had to cut down certain actions/scenes or reorder them without destroying the plot/story-line. Psychological Thrillers aim to achieve a mysterious,a ambiguous and ominous effect, therefore once we have completed the changes that are appropriate, we will consult our A2 Media Teachers for reassurance and in order to receive a professional opinion as well.
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FINAL DRAFT - ELLA PONTING (EP)
After finishing our final piece, I decided to re-construct sections on the script based on adjustments we made to the action and dialogue. Whilst our two main actors Han-sun Nkumu and Helen Beech had read the script, they were not fluent thus a large portion of the counsellor's scene was improvised. This helped add to the realism of the scene as it appeared less scripted and forced, and allowed the emotions, body language and facial expressions to become the most prominent part of the scene. A few of the pieces of dialogue were missed out in the opening scene, however this worked to our advantage as our film's length needed to be cut down. Therefore, I re-wrote parts of this scene based on the changes to dialogue, body language and facial expressions. Despite this, I did not have to change any of the dialogue for our voiceover. This was due to the voiceover being recorded during our post-production stage. Sara and I had already gone through the script and changed parts of the dialogue based on how it fitted in with our film. I read through the voiceover as if I were Hayle, whilst Sara monitored the film to ensure the timings were right. Based on this we both altered the script so that the voiceover corresponds with the on-screen action.
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